Earlier this year, columnist and sociologist Kathryn Jezer-Morton coined the term "friction-maxxing." It was her attempt to describe the importance of doing hard things in order to reclaim our humanity from our algorithmic overlords. And it stuck.
Jezer-Morton had spent months contemplating the concept of escapism, and whether it still existed in a world where tech companies suggest life itself as an inconvenience to be avoided with their "frictionless" user experiences. In January, her friction-maxxing manifesto appeared in The Cut as a New Year's resolution.
Reading, talking, moving, leaving the house, thinking, interacting with strangers, risking an unexpected reaction, speaking at all — "these are all frictions we can now eliminate easily," the column noted. "And we do," she added, to our detriment.
The advice to friction-maxx wasn't really for herself.
"The way that I live, I think, is probably higher friction than average," says Jezer-Morton, who is also the author of the forthcoming book The Story of Your Life: How Social Media Shapes the Way We Experience Everything.
She confesses to being one of those "annoying" people who shops at the grocery store every day instead of ordering delivery online (it helps that she lives within walking distance of the store). Plenty of adult professionals have swapped at-home socializing for screen time, unconsciously or not. Jezer-Morton invites friends over for impromptu meals, no matter the state of her home.
It's not that Jezer-Morton is entirely without digital crutches. She relishes periods of isolation and has a tendency to communicate with friends via "epic" voice memos, sent via text.
"It's definitely the thing that I know I need to change about my life if I want to enact the things that I actually feel really strongly about," Jezer-Morton says. That's why she's trying to wean herself from voice memos.
Her progress so far? "We've gone from, like, zero to one." She's not motivated by any kind of perfect score, but has seen how her relationships and sense of belonging in the world improve whenever she talks on the phone with friends.
So far, Jezer-Morton has resisted the tendency to turn friction-maxxing into a prescriptive checklist — which would be a very human tendency, she notes. "We just can't be stopped," she says. "We're going to metabolize information for the sake of optimization if it's the literal last thing we do."
Other experts, asked about the concept of friction-maxxing, say the approach could play a valuable role in reorienting yourself away from tech dependency and back toward embracing the effort that makes people feel genuinely alive and fulfilled.
The pitfalls to avoid: Adding friction without thoughtful direction and purpose, and trying to optimize your life in the pursuit of a proverbial gold star. In other words, don't live and die by friction-maxxing streaks.
Why friction leads to fulfillment
Dr. Gloria Mark, the Chancellor's Professor Emerita of Informatics at the University of California at University of California at Irvine, has studied human-computer interaction for decades. At first, industry's goal was to build easy-to-use hardware for widespread adoption.
"I think we've been riding this wave of making tech easier and easier to use, and I just think we've gone too far," says Mark, who is also the author of Attention Span: A Groundbreaking Way to Restore Balance, Happiness and Productivity.
It's not just that devices are designed for ease of use in themselves — it's that they're increasingly designed to make our lives easier. Mark doesn't believe in rejecting all conveniences this affords — after all, some of it is beneficial. Yet we've gotten to the point where people are so absorbed by their devices that it can be difficult for them to walk down a hallway without clutching a phone.
If friction-maxxing can be an antidote to that overcorrection, Mark is all for it, with caveats. The practice shouldn't be limited to routinely putting a device out of reach or rejecting its various conveniences, like food delivery and online shopping. That's just the first step.
Mark recommends subsequently putting effort into activities that "deepen" you — like reading a book, spending time on a passion project, or using technology mindfully, in pursuit of a very specific goal.
Each of these actions requires exerting yourself in ways that can feel unfamiliar after growing accustomed to a fast-and-easy lifestyle. A book demands your attention without an immediate payoff, unlike the short-form videos you may binge on at the end of a long day. It also involves absorbing ideas and interpreting meaning.
With a DIY project, you might be tempted to source a version of what you're constructing from an online shop that offers the product for half the price but none of the fulfillment. Taking the hard way can mean learning a new skill, eliciting the type of rewarding effort that you haven't felt in ages.
Friction for a fast lifestyle
Mark says the point isn't just to friction-maxx for the sake of it, but to value the kind of effort that can deepen a person.
What you're aiming for is depth of processing, which can be gratifying in itself, Mark says. This concept describes the effort taken to understand something, effort that leads to better retention.
Depth of processing doesn't only apply to sophisticated tasks. It also arises in an act as mundane as reading a map to learn how to get from one place to another. When you're not reliant on a maps app as a guide, the brain must create its own internal spatial map based on the environment, which might include objects like landmarks and natural features, according to Mark.
"You can find yourself [being] the snake chasing its own tail."
If you're looking for a simple piece of friction that has the potential to boost your cognitive abilities, Mark recommends learning a route and developing an internal map of it. Then attempt walking or driving without GPS or a maps app.
Mark isn't immune to tech-enabled distractions, either. She recently resolved to spend less time listening to audiobooks during outdoor walks. It may seem innocuous, but even the audio input can shift your attention from the present moment and onto the content playing in your ears, Mark says. You're likely to miss out on the benefits of an outdoor stroll when you don't focus on its restorative qualities, such as listening to birds chirp.
Taking a walk without media introduces friction if it's something you don't do regularly. Devoting your undivided attention to that podcast or audiobook, perhaps at home in a quiet place, also counts as friction-maxxing.
Using friction-maxxing with your kids
Jay Vidyarthi, a meditation teacher and tech founder, is concerned about the zeal-of-the-convert factor. He believes people can overcorrect, once they grasp that friction is necessary for a fulfilling and happy life. They may intentionally make everything difficult for no other reason than avoiding the guilt they would feel if they went easy on themselves.
"You can find yourself [being] the snake chasing its own tail," says Vidyarthi, author of Reclaim Your Mind: Seven Strategies to Enjoy Tech Mindfully. He recommends approaching friction with mindfulness and curiosity, not "self-flagellation and self-judgment."
Vidyarthi has been exploring friction in his own life. He noted his tendency to check work email while playing with his young son. He needed friction to interrupt this pattern, so took that email app off his device and put a different app in the same spot on the screen — one of our top picks for meditation apps, Insight Timer.
The swap helped him reflect on what motivates the desire to check email, whenever his thumb instinctually hovers the button. His conclusion? He's tied self-worth to productivity, which makes it hard to feel OK when not moving work forward.
Understanding this pattern has dramatically reduced his fixation on work email and messages, and increased his presence with his son, Vidyarthi says.
Be curious about friction as a tool
No doubt some people benefit from a formal practice in which they track their efforts for accountability and motivation. Yet that tracking should yield meaningful insights about where and how friction can benefit them, rather than becoming its own unstoppable cycle of heightened expectations.
For a tech tool that helps with managing friction, consider an app blocker like Opal or Brick, which restrict select apps and can be programmed for specific times of day. One Mashable reviewer used Brick to cut their screen time in half.
Jezer-Morton is allergic to tips and takeaways — they're too easy, she says, another example of friction removed. What she does offer is a little philosophical inspiration.
"I don't really think about it in terms of practical ways of going about [friction-maxxing]," she says. "I think of it more like reaffirming your own relationship with your humanity."
